TROUBLE SHOOTING THE H.O.P.E. Break Formula
(With actual EXAMPLES)
Everyone struggles with meaning and hope at some time in their life. Being successful with H.O.P.E. Breaks is no different. If you have used the H.O.P.E. Break Formula and are struggling to make it work better, here are some trouble shooting tips and some examples from those using the H.O.P.E. Break Formula and how they have resolved these issues on their pathway to hope.
TROUBLE SHOOTING H.O.P.E. Breaks
COMMON REASONS for difficulties and repeated failures
REASON 1: Remembering to take H.O.P.E. Breaks. It is so common to just forget to Hook-up to our purpose each day. Family, work, hobbies, etc. crowd our day from waking to sleep again. No one has to remind us to breath, or even eat. As for things like smiling, returning a greeting, balancing our accounts, being a responsible parent, etc. we eventually are reminded to do these things by others. But who reminds us to say “Hello” to our Creator, or seek his help and direction for our daily purpose – or life purpose as well? For most of us, a failure, a disappointment, worry, fear, or some other type of “life-crisis” causes the need to Hook-up to cross our minds. For some, a lull in our pace, a quiet moment, or a memory brings the need into focus. And for others, Hooking-up becomes an intentional, regular, or even scheduled routine to start or end each day. Regardless, whenever the thought comes, Hook-up at that moment (see REASON 3) before you need to remember again. Do it in the NOW of the moment and move on!
SOLUTIONS for REASON 1:
1) Commit to being intentional. Move your hope choices from “waiting for the urgent” into the “this is important” category for your hope journey.
2) Review the WHEN TO TAKE HOPE BREAKS article to get ideas on how to best fit H.O.P.E. Breaks into your life.
3) If you are uncertain about the value of connecting to a loving Creator, you might benefit from reviewing His “love images” in your life at 9lovelinks.com. It is easier to remember something you believe will bring courage, meaning, and hope to your life.
4) If you are undecided about the best source of Truth upon which to base your hope, review the WHAT IS TRUTH and PRESUMPTION vs HOPE articles. Or if the opposite it true, if you have chosen the Creator as the source of your hope and are still struggling, review the IMPORTANCE OF HOPE TO LIFE article.
5) Finally practice the solutions in REASON 3 below. Review the article BIG DEAL ABOUT NOW article, so you don’t have to remember!
REASON 2: Skipping H.O.P.E. Break steps. If you have reviewed the formula, you can see that each H.O.P.E. Break step (1-3) has three choices you need to make to make your journey of hope – a total of nine choices. Skipping any one of the nine choices will lessen the impact of your H.O.P.E. Break’s impact on your hope journey. Skipping Step One: Skipping any of the “Hook-up to your Creator” choices leaves you essentially “on your own” or with a “substitute” source of power for your life. Making the “Hook-up” choices links your life to your loving Creator. Skipping Step 2: Skipping any of the “Obey His guidance” choices leaves you vulnerable to directionless and defeating actions and relationships. Making the “Obey” choices helps you clarify the next steps in our life, and removes pitfalls and roadblocks, because you clean them up immediately. Skipping Step 3: Skipping any of the “Praise & Enjoy His guidance and support” choices leaves you open to shame, guilt, fear, and a host of other demotivating feelings that celebrating brings to your life.
SOLUTIONS for REASON 2:
1) Commit to being intentional. Commit to acting on lessons you have learned. Put your plan in writing and follow it.
2) Review the STEP CHOICES article to better understand the outputs that result from skipping or reordering the H.O.P.E. Break steps. Why skip a step that takes you where you don’t want to go.
REASON 3: Waiting to take a H.O.P.E. Break. When you wait to make a choice or act on anything, when you decide to do them, it will still be in a NOW moment. There are so many reasons we put off decisions, some good and some bad. So why not make the decisions or take the actions you can right now. If it takes research, schedule it. If it takes planning, jot your first steps down right now. If it takes time or others to accomplish it list and schedule them right away. You have begun! The same is true with taking H.O.P.E. Breaks. Don’t wait. It doesn’t take long to “Hook-up”, “Obey”, and start the “Praise & Enjoy” celebration. Remember that anything of value takes work. Don’t give up!
SOLUTIONS for REASON 2:
1) Commit to being intentional. Learn to act immediately and at least take a mini- H.O.P.E. Break.
2) Review the article BIG DEAL ABOUT NOW article, so you can better grasp the importance and value of “not waiting”. You may never get a better chance than you have right NOW!
3) Since many barriers other than the obvious Choice, Desire, and Surrender barriers can cause you to avoid (wait) taking a H.O.P.E. Break, you might find it helpful to review the section on OTHER BARRIERS.
EXAMPLES OF H.O.P.E. Break SUCCESSES.
SITUATION ONE: Experiencing a difficult divorce. Amy’s husband has decided he is through with the marriage. She has acknowledged her mistakes, and has sought healing and restoration. She has changed all she knows how to change, and even specifically those items their counselor suggested. He has chosen to not accept any of those improvements, and has demanded a divorce. For months she has followed his demands, but all her compliance efforts have been rejected. Even the most loving gestures are met with anger and criticism. Any contact is met with rejection and seems to increase the hostility. Any communication creates new problems. She found herself crushed and confused as to what to do, and life (work, family, and personal) had become hopeless.
EXAMPLE ONE - WAITING: Using the H.O.P.E. Break Formula is helping Amy get her life back together. She is learning to use it each time it crosses her mind and she feels depressed, lost, or hopeless. She also has found it helps her keep seeking guidance. Here is her testimony. When Hooking-up to her Creator, she began to “accept” that changing the relationship had gone beyond her control. A new spark of hope and Serenity began to fill her life as she realized both her hurting husband and she were still loved by the Creator, but that she would have to let go. As she Obeyed her Creator she began to get counsel from the Word, and hope again began to fill her life as the Creator has been giving her the Courage to “change” those things that were in her power to change. She is focused on creating a healthy space for him and the rest of her life, regardless of his future choices. She has experienced forgiveness, and a love for him, even though she cannot express it to him directly. Each day she makes it a point to Praise & Enjoy those around her, and the hope the Creator gives her for a better future. She “knows” that God will give her Wisdom to navigate her journey of hope. Her motivation has returned, and she is now able to help others who are going through similar situations. She is learning to “live in the NOW”.
SITUATION TWO: Experiencing a moral failure bringing guilt and depression. Carl is part of two recovery groups. He has struggled for years to get a handle on overcoming his addictions, and although he has had success for years, he still struggles at unexpected times. Even with these successes, he has had relapses, short as they were, that put him into a depressed state of hopelessness. Many around him said he had no hope to ever be truly free.
EXAMPLE TWO - REMEMBERING: When you read Carl's testimony, you can see how he has structured "remembering" in his journey to hope. Using the H.O.P.E. Break Formula is helping Carl with recovery and healing. Beyond his weekly meetings, he follows the parallel formula steps daily of “Giving Up, Cleaning Up, and Living Up” to keep his life on track and full of hope. He has shared that when he begins to get depressed, he immediately says a prayer, Hooking-up to the loving care and promises of his Creator. It reminds him to “accept” the Truth that he needs the Creator’s protection and strength to live a life of purpose. He has learned the importance of immediately Obeying His guidance, cleaning up any trigger or circumstance that he has the power to “change”. Sometimes this requires courage to confront or even change friends, to take a different route home, to make a restitution, or to quickly review his new life goals. The most notable improvement the formula has made, however, has come when he takes those difficult moments to Praise & Enjoy His guidance and solutions. Instead of being defeated, he finds himself immediately motivated, “knowing” he can make the best choices, be thankful for forgiveness, experience calming serenity, and have the wisdom to grasp hope for his life.
SITUATION THREE: Claiming hope through Praise & Enjoyment when not genuinely making all nine H.O.P.E. Break Formula choices. Tom's testimony is coming soon.
EXAMPLE THREE - SKIPPING: Coming soon.